Balls and Brownies

The Blueberry Girl

As you can see, Emma got her wig busted. Just decided on a whim one morning that it was something she needed to do. She directed the stylist how much to take off and everything. I was cut out of the equation pretty quick. 

When she was finished she looked in the mirror and said, "hey, I look like the girl who turns into a blueberry!" I picked up on the Violet Beauregarde reference right away. She loves that movie. The only difference beteween Emma and Violet is that Emma doesn't have bangs.  If I would have been smart enough to take a picture of her FACE, you could actually see that. Oops!

 

 

Pap Pap

I love everything about this picture. I think it's one of the best I've ever taken. The lighting, the angle, the non-pose of it all, the shadows. It's just Pap Pap. The way I see him every time I go home to visit. He's always in that chair, always looking out that window. He waves to us on our way in and on our way out. He's always wearing the little cap on his head, always wearing a thick flannel. I also like that if you look closely, behind his left elbow, you'll see a picture of a lady. It's not my dear, sweet Grandma. Nope, it's Mena Suvari. Pap Pap has a thing for her. It's okay ... Grandma knows.

Same Cleats, Different Kid

Anyone who has followed this blog knows that Mason loves football and baseball. But before he was old enough to play either sport, there was soccer. It didn't last very long. Just one season. 

In fact, his cleats barely got dirty. So I held on to them, waiting for the day his little brother could lace 'em up. But that little brother never came. Instead, we got a 6 lb. 10 oz. girly girl. So the cleats went to the back of the closet. I never thought they would see daylight again. But last Saturday that all changed.

Emma put on those exact same cleats and wore them to her first soccer game. And within minutes of being on the field, she scored a goal! I'd like to say it was because of her fierce skills, but maybe it was the cleats. Her big brother's cleats. Let me just hold on to that thought, okay? It is one of the few times in life my kids will have shared a clothing/shoe item.

P.S. Go Lightning Bolts! The girls got to pick their own team name. Their first choice was the White Bunnies. But the coach is a guy and I don't think he was feelin' the White Bunnies. So he steered them in the direction of Lightning Bolts :)

The Birds, The Bees and the Bonobos

Each time we visit the zoo, our kids learn something new. Zoos are supposed to be educational. But there was a little too much educatin' happening during our visit last week. Sex education.

It happened at the bonobo exhibit. Fascinating little creatures. But my friend Suzi (who works at the zoo) once told me a secret about the bonobos. Simply put ... they're horny. Really horny. Google it. Suzi even has a special nickname for one of them, but this blog is PG so I won't share it.

Anyway, the Sawyers witnessed some of this crazy bonobo lovin.' In broad daylight. This poor female was minding her own business when seemingly out of nowhere the male came swinging over (like a bat/bonobo out of hell!) and made his move. There was no foreplay. He went right to work. And it was all happening so fast. Chris and I knew we should probably get the kids out of there, but it was like a train wreck. And we couldn't stop watching! Same for about a dozen other people who had gathered around. Hey, free bonobo porn.

And when it was over, it was over. Mr. Bonobo was done. Chris and I saw it. He was at attention and then, well ... he wasn't anymore. A one hit wonder.

The kids were already distracted by yet another bonobo who was reaching around to pull out his own poo as it was leaving his body. I won't tell you what happened next. You'll probably want to eat at some point today. But definitely guh-ross.

As for the sexual encounter we had witnessed, Chris and I thought we were in the clear. The kids were distracted so we didn't think bonobo lovin' would come up again. But it did. At supper that night. Mason said he knew what had happened. He used the word "humping." Oh dear. I thought we'd leave it at that since he didn't really understand the act of sex. But then Chris started to explain further. I quickly tossed a crescent roll at him and announced that we didn't need to have this conversation yet. Not with a 9-year-old. Thanks a lot bonobos.  You horny little freaks!

Easter Tour 2010

I know Easter was five days ago, and I'm a little behind, but it's Spring Break at the Sawyer house and let's just say ... things are not moving at warp speed. Haven't had the alarm clock plugged in all week. We're doing whatever we want, whenever we want. And that includes blogging.

So now back to Easter. Our kids went on four egg hunts. Isn't that nuts? We called it 'Easter Tour 2010.' But each one was special, starting with this one in our backyard.

Egg Hunt #2: Eggsplosion in Pickerington. HUGE. Friends of ours attend the church that hosted this event and they did a remarkable job.

Many of the eggs were dropped by helicopter and then shortly after ... chaos! 

 

Egg Hunt #3:  The 60th Annual Canal Winchester Easter Egg Hunt. We go to this one every year because it's put together by the most adorable old ladies from the American Legion.

 

Egg Hunt #4: It actually took place at my parents' house, shortly after this picture was taken. But this picture is more important since we're all in church ... celebrating the Resurrection.

 

A wonderful week of celebrations! There was also egg coloring, basket giving, etc. I have even more pictures but I just haven't gone through them all yet. I'll do it soon, but for now I have n appointment with 'The Real Housewives.'